Now, if you're a Shoewawa local, you'll know that I love my Mary Janes almost more than I love my mother; but when I saw this particular styling, I swear that I actually felt nauseous. Made from silver-grey leather - reminiscent of an elephant's derriere - they look like a cross between an '80s court shoe and a hiking boot (which might explain why they've been named 'Alpine'). Completely unsuited to climbing mountains - or, indeed, for taking out of the cupboard reserved solely for Crimes Against Shoemanity - these horrors leave me lost for any additional descriptives! ...
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[Source: Shoewawa]
